Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship can be a bit of a challenge! So can other special occasions, like birthdays and anniversaries. If you and your partner were together in the same place, you’d have no trouble finding a romantic place for a nice dinner, buying something special, or arranging a candlelit celebration at home. However, when you’re hundreds (or thousands) of miles away from your partner, these special days can suddenly become quite stressful. How can you celebrate Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship? We have a few ideas!

How did we cope in our own long-distance relationship?

We’ll be honest with you here. We discovered that celebrating special days with an eight-hour time difference was not one of our greatest skills. Our separate daily routines got in the way too much. Having said that, if you want to make more of an effort than we did, there are plenty of ways for you to celebrate those special days, even if you can’t be in the same place.

Here are some ideas to think about if you’re spending Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship:

Buy a gift, and send it by mail

This takes some advance preparation, and some money. Look online for ideas for a suitable gift. It could be something sweet and romantic, or maybe something quirky and different that you know your partner would love. There are plenty of websites that offer gifts specially designed for long-distance couples. There are personalised photo frames, pictures created from maps of your home countries, matching necklaces and bracelets for each partner to wear, mugs, pillows, jigsaw puzzles made from your photos, and hundreds of other options.

You can also find websites where you can make your photos into a book to send to your partner. Remember that some of these gifts can be expensive, though. You’ll also need to allow extra money and time for shipping the gift to your partner in the mail. Not all companies will ship to all countries, so remember to check first, to avoid disappointment. Work within your budget! Remember that the thought behind the gift matters more than the number on the price tag.

Make a gift, and send it by mail

This is basically the same idea as above, but it involves perhaps slightly less money. However, it takes imagination, and a lot more time and effort. The idea is that your partner will appreciate a gift more because you made it yourself.

If you’re good at making things, or talented at art, you can use your imagination and create something lovely to send to your partner. You can often find inspiration by looking online for gifts made by other people, and then having a go at making something similar yourself. Be realistic, though, and don’t try this unless you’re really going to enjoy doing it. Too many craft projects end up costing too much and being abandoned halfway through, when you realise that the project isn’t going to plan and wish you’d just bought something instead.

Send a card by mail

This is cheaper than the first two options, but make sure it’s a nice card (or one you’ve made yourself). Don’t forget to make it more special for your partner by writing some sweet words in it!

Send chocolates or flowers

This is a usually a fairly low-stress option, but needs a little advance preparation and can be expensive. You can find lots of companies online who will arrange it for you. You’ll usually have the opportunity to include a short (but sweet) message along with your flowers or chocolates.

Arrange a visit to surprise your partner on their special day 

Who are we kidding, right? But no, we’re serious. People have actually done this. If you have enough money for the trip, and can perhaps get friends and family to help make the surprise happen, there’s nothing more wonderful than being able to celebrate a special day together in the same place. But plan ahead; don’t just arrive at your partner’s home and assume that you’ll have a place to stay! Book accommodation in advance, or arrange to stay with the family.

Warning: Steer clear of this option if your partner’s not the kind of person who appreciates surprises. Don’t even think about doing it if your partner has any kind of medical condition that could make this kind of surprise a bad idea. Some people appreciate a couple of days’ notice for these things. Use your common sense here, or take advice from friends and family!

Next-best thing: Announce to your partner that you’re planning a visit

Almost as good as an actual visit, this option would be a great idea if you have a partner whose nerves wouldn’t cope with finding you at their door unexpectedly. It also eliminates the possibility that your partner will make other plans for the special day and not include you in those plans.

Have a special date on video chat 

Meeting up for a chat on video doesn’t work too well as a special treat if it’s something you do every day anyway. If you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship, try to make your video call unusual and special. Think about doing something romantic! You could decorate the room with romantic banners and cut-out paper hearts. You could make a cake or some other nice food. Perhaps you could even arrange to cook a special meal together – or order food to be delivered to your partner as a surprise!

This can be complicated if you’re in different time zones, trying to eat breakfast and dinner at the same time. If it doesn’t seem like a good idea, try something else. You could also try watching a movie online together – and let your partner choose which movie it’s going to be! Other than that, try to do something you wouldn’t normally do on your Skype date. You could permorm a song for your partner, stay online longer than usual, or do something else your partner doesn’t get to see you do very often. Use your imagination!

Make plans for the future

A birthday or anniversary, or Valentine’s Day, can be an ideal time for an important talk about the future. If you’re feeling ready to start planning a visit, to close the distance, or even to propose marriage, making these plans together can be a good way to make the day extra meaningful. If you’re not ready for big plans yet, it can still be fun to talk about what you’d like to do together someday. Talk about different countries you’d like to visit, food you’d like to try together, beaches you’d like to walk along – let your imagination take hold, and don’t be afraid to dream together.

Write a poem, write a song, or draw a picture

If you’re feeling inspired by the love you feel for your partner, why not try writing a poem or song for them? Alternatively, have a go at drawing a picture. If it doesn’t go well, at least you tried – and you can always incorporate it into a comedy act as part of the entertainment for your special video call.

Make a video or slideshow

Lots of long-distance couples have made videos for each other. Just because it’s been done before, many times, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do try it too. If you’ve already made a video for your partner, make another one – but make it different! Record yourself saying a message for your partner, or put together photos and video clips from when you spent time together, get family and friends to record their greetings. Alternatively, find a nice piece of music, write some romantic words, and add pictures of scenes from the place where you live or somewhere you’d like to visit together someday.

Write 365 love letters

Take 365 small pieces of paper, and start writing down 365 reasons why you love your partner so much. When you run out of reasons (because 365 is a lot), start writing sweet messages or plans for the future, until you’ve written something nice on every piece of paper. Phew. That takes time. Then ask your partner to go and buy a glass jar or attractive container. Put all your love letters in an envelope and mail them to your partner to put in the jar. That way, your loved one will be able to read one sweet note every day for a whole year. If you can’t bear the thought of writing 365 notes, you could try 52 instead, and then your partner will have a love note for one day each week instead.

Send love to your partner on Facebook for an entire day

This is usually appreciated if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t normally like to declare your love in any public way. Collect beautiful or cute pictures and sweet words, and post them every hour of your loved one’s special day. If you’ve written a poem or song, just post a couple of lines from it every hour – and by the end of the day, your partner will have the whole thing. If you’re not ready to share your relationship with the Facebook world yet, you could do this by email or text message instead.

Agree with your partner that you’re both going to do something fun with friends or family instead

Sometimes it’s just not practical to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a long-distance relationship. Maybe there’s too much of a time difference between you, or maybe you’re just out of ideas. It can be good to take your mind off it by arranging to do something fun and exciting with friends instead. Go out somewhere, or have a party, or even just stay at home and relax. Enjoy yourself and don’t feel guilty about it.

And finally… just don’t worry too much about it

In the end, Valentine’s Day is just another day. Every day you’re together is worth celebrating, just because you have each other. If you don’t manage to do anything special for Valentine’s Day, or a birthday or anniversary – well, your relationship doesn’t have to suffer because of that. Just make sure you tell each other how much you love and appreciate each other. Do that every day, not just on the special days.

When you’ve finally said goodbye to the distance between you, you’ll be able to make up for all the celebrations you missed when you were too far apart. What really counts isn’t the gifts, the sweet poems, or the money spent. It’s the love you feel for each other, and how you treat each other every single day of the year.

© Larry and Carla Sue